Be still and know that I am God
Life isn't always easy but the Word of God can be our anchor in tough times, says Porth Elim's Miriam Jenkins. Here, Miriam share her story with us:
I’m writing this in the week I returned to work after eight whole months off, having had an amazing recovery from brain surgery! I can testify to the following verse: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future,” (Jeremiah 29:11).
So, a quick bit of background to my 33-year fight to ‘live life to the full’ as promised in John 10:10. I’m 44 now, and at the age of ten I had chronic renal failure which led to two kidney transplants, one which failed after three years, and one that thankfully is still going strong!
Then in 2003 I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma which led to18 months of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Again, with God’s help, I fought that battle and won.
Despite all this and having missed out on my education due to ill health, I’ve lived a full life. I work full-time as an auxiliary nurse in Rookwood Hospital, and also work voluntarily with the Ospreys wheelchair rugby team.
Although I like to travel as much as possible, much of my time is sowing into my friends and family and I believe this has helped me during these challenges.
A friend of mine once posed the question, “How long should we fight for?” To which she replied, “Until we win!” That's how I live!
Around November 2014 I started to lose sensation in the left side of my face, at the same time also losing my hearing slightly. After investigation, the doctors discovered I had a benign tumour on my facial nerve at the base of my brain, and another non-problematic one in my uterus.
This time it really knocked me for six. I felt I had no fight left and really felt quite vulnerable! I had to up my game!
So I got stuck into the Bible more than ever before; we just have to know it, stand on it and believe it!
One of the girls from church sent me a verse that really spoke to me: “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today... the Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still!” (Exodus 14:13-14). So that’s what I did!
I worked up until March this year while the doctors were watching the tumours, deciding what to do. But I worked too long and ended up with fluid on the brain and intermittent vision. I found myself in the HDU in Heath Hospital having my first of two rounds of brain surgery!
Despite the circumstances though I had an amazing peace through it all – a peace that transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7). After the second lot of surgery I felt well again; they had inserted a tube in my brain that was draining away the fluid that was causing all the problems into my stomach.
I was now ready to fight some more and get the next operation, to completely remove the tumour, over with. It eventually happened in May and took a whopping nine hours of surgery. It involved removing a bit of the skull and 95 per cent of the tumour. As a result I now have a bit of facial weakness, which is improving slowly but surely, and thankfully I am alive, and all is well!
When I came out of the HDU and was back on the main ward it was crazy! My brain had been messed with, and I’d been under anaesthetic for a long time so I wasn’t quite ‘with it’.
One day I said to God, “Right, what do I have to do to get my miracle of complete healing?” Instantly the words dropped in to me again, “Be still! Be still and know that I am God,” (Psalm 46:10).
I was finally getting the message! Everyone that knows me will know being still is not my thing! But I’ve learned to do it, and to fight with God’s Word, that’s why he gave it to us.
It’s now been six months since my surgery and my surgeon is very pleased with my progress. The uterus tumour has shrunk a tiny bit and is now just being monitored, and although it’s an ongoing battle with my facial nerve loss, I’m sure I will see the best outcome!
“Being confident of this that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus,” (Mark 8:31).