Five key questions about youth work

Practical wisdom on role-modelling, fun, balance, small groups and teaching the Bible.

 

TOPIC 1: HOW TO BE A ROLE MODEL
GEMMA BARNWELL, children and families pastor, Elim Hope Church, Stafford

Thinking about how I’m a role model, it’s firstly through consistency; I am the same person whether I’m with youth and children, leaders or at home. I’m also consistently there and our youth and leaders know they can message me at any time. The kids know I’m at church every Sunday and every Wednesday night for kids club too and I always make time during groups for relationship.

I try to be open and honest and avoid putting myself on a pedestal. I grew up in a church where the leaders shared their flaws – the main minister would mention not having a fish sticker on his car because he struggled with speeding and road rage. Because of this I grew up not seeing leaders as ‘holier than thou’. My husband, however, grew up with leaders being idolised rather than seen as normal people with flaws, so when they got things wrong he was hurt to find they weren’t perfect. I therefore try to share my flaws and struggles. Recently in kids church, for example, we spoke about choices. I mentioned how I struggle with patience, especially when driving, so to overcome that I thank God for putting slow drivers in my way because he wants to keep me safe. With the youth I speak about how my weakness is reading the Bible. I always try to share ways of overcoming my weaknesses so I can lead by example. We’re all flawed, so let’s not hide our flaws but show our young people how we try to overcome them.

Key Questions

• What role models do you have on your team? How could you be more diverse to include different leaders for your young people to look up to?

• Are you consistently you?

• What weaknesses do you have that you could share to help your youth/children grow?

TOPIC 2: HOW TO HAVE FUN
Sam Hughes, NextGen Pastor, Lifecentral Church, Halesowen

We have two values for our kids ministry at Lifecentral – faith and fun. And we aim to have an element of both in all we do. After all, Jesus was fun – he fed the 5,000, walked on water and never did the same thing twice.

Our groups need to be fun. Young people vote with their feet and if what we do isn’t entertaining they won’t turn up. There’s nothing worse than hearing kids telling you your stuff is boring! We run a successful holiday club and our aim is to get kids from that to come along on Sundays too. To achieve that, we make the club engaging.

Last August we had a guy dressed up as “Chef Edgar” and he made each leader eat a gross meal. We’d decided that I would eat a three-course meal in the Sunday service. I let it slip that I hate cheese and onion crisps, so I ended up eating a starter of sweets, mustard, ketchup, crisps and salad, a main meal of pickled onion, mustard, ketchup, popping candy, crisps and a strawberry slices sandwich, then a dessert of cold custard with blue food colouring, pineapple, pickle and cheese on crisps and sweets. It was absolutely vile, but worth it to see 10–15 kids from the club come to church and to our youth club.

Key Questions

• What’s one thing you’ve done in your ministry that was fun?

• Would you say your ministry values fun?

• Where do you think you could bring more fun to your ministry?

TOPIC 3: HOW TO GET YOUR SERVING/LIFE BALANCE RIGHT
Debs Price, Limitless Kids Early Years Lead

What are your priorities in life? Here are mine: God, family, ministry, everything else. When it comes to achieving a good serving/life balance it’s important to know what your priorities are and how much time to give them.

Another thing that’s important is knowing your limits and boundaries. There will always be different seasons where you may need to give more focus to different priorities but make sure you make up for missed time afterwards. That means being present with family even if you have so much to do at church. Also be honest with yourself. It’s OK to recognise if something is too much or you need help. Remember we’re a family – Jesus didn’t do it alone and we shouldn’t either! What boundaries do you need to put in place? Some suggestions include switch-off Saturdays and no work emails or communication on family days.

It’s helpful to keep your primary ministry or objective in mind too. What have you been called into or primarily employed for? Which ministry team is your main focus?

Lastly, make time for you. It’s not all about serving and giving. Mary took time out to rest at the feet of Jesus and that should be a priority for us too. We need time to rest and be ourselves. What things do you enjoy doing that charge you up? Make time for them. When we neglect time with Jesus and time for ourselves we don’t work out of our full power and potential.

Key Questions

• What are your priorities?

• What boundaries do you need to put in place, or what boundaries do you have in place that work?

• What things do you do that charge you up and give you life?

TOPIC 4: HOW TO LEAD A SMALL GROUP
Harvey Hather, youth pastor, Lifecentral, Halesowen

At Lifecentral small groups are a huge part of what we do; they are vital for discipleship, journeying with others and knowing who is with your ministry. It’s crucial that every young person is connected into a crew or tribe and knows who their leaders are.

I’ve learned that the most important thing when leading a small group is showing up. We say to all of our crew leaders that we expect them to be there every Wednesday wherever possible. If we aren’t willing to show up we have no right to speak into a young person’s life. The more inconsistent leaders are, the less consistent, open and vulnerable young people are. They need to trust us to show up.

We need to lead with vulnerability too. We can’t expect our young people to be vulnerable if we’re not. That doesn’t mean we share every dark time with them, it has to be appropriate. A great bit of advice I heard was that if kids are under 15 and what you have to say wouldn’t be in a Disney movie, don’t share it.

This year we’ve been allowing our teens to help decide what they want their small groups to become. We’ve done a whole series about how we create family in our crew. We asked our groups what values are important, how we can make this a safe space and make sure people feel heard.

We’ve also learned the importance of planning ahead and have got into a rhythm of sending out group leader discussion guides one week ahead. That means our leaders can make discussion time relevant and helpful. They know their young people better than us so we ask them to adjust discussions to fit their group. Finally, every young person needs a trusted adult outside of their family who they can go to, and that means leading has to be more than a Wednesday night job. Bearing safeguarding in mind, we have group chats, one-to-one meets, “We miss you” postcards and birthday cards.

Key Questions

• What does consistency look like for you and the team you are part of? How could you increase it?

• How could you create more trust and vulnerability in the small group/young people you lead?

• How could you lead beyond the weekly session?

TOPIC 5: HOW TO TEACH THE BIBLE
Ellie Heywood, head of children’s ministry, Birmingham City Church

I’m always learning what children like because each group is different. I always try to think of creative ways to help children understand the Bible.

Over the years I’ve learned a few things about teaching the Bible well. One is to have fun with it – if you’re not, the children aren’t either. Another is that when kids get to physically touch it that’s how they’re able to learn.

Finally, kids are always teaching me so I invite them to share their thoughts on the story. When has a child inspired you with a different perspective on the story you’ve brought?

Key Questions

• What is the most memorable Bible talk you’ve ever heard?

• Why was it memorable?

• How could you transfer that skill into sharing the Bible with a child?

This article first appeared in Direction Magazine. For further details, please click here.