Not to us, O Lord

Reflections on a ministry shaped by grace

It is a little over 30 years since I first sat in my office at Bridge Street Church in Leeds. The sign on my door said ‘Pastor’, as did the business cards on my desk, but in truth I was as raw as a freshly peeled parsnip with about the same amount of theological insight.

However, I was loved and supported by my precious wife Melanie and a great pastoral team: John Cave, Lionel Currie, Steve Reilly and Andy Lenton. And somehow, by the grace of God, that initial rawness was transformed into something that very remarkably and to my own astonishment, God could use for his glory.

Mistakes? I made a lot! Like the time that I accidentally sent the wine round first at the communion table. Despite their consternation, God’s people were very kind to me. Or the moment when the sense of the Lord’s presence was so real, and I asked the congregation to remain silent while just the ‘magicians’ played in the background. These and many other faux pas were simply part of my journey. But God has been very good to me. I can honestly say that “all my days he has been faithful.”

As would be the same for any church leader, I have lived and ministered through years of significant change. Worship styles are almost unrecognisable to those of 30 years ago, and the glorious mix of nationalities in the congregation is something that we might not have predicted.

And here in Leeds, we have seen the sovereign grace of Almighty God exchange an 85-year-old building into new land and premises worth more than ten times its original value. Only God can do this and “it is marvellous in our eyes.”

But as I retire and step back from day-to-day involvement, my thoughts and prayers are still for the future rather than the past. I could bore you with a history of the people I knew in Leeds and the great times we had. God knows all about the past but there is a real sense that he doesn’t live there.

We live in faith that however much we have seen and experienced with God, there is always more. We play a small part for a few years but then we step aside and the next people that the Lord has so wonderfully chosen step into our shoes and improve on our skills, so that we are not locked into history but focused ahead on his story. It’s God’s story, not mine.

My school did not ‘do’ Latin. In fact, looking back, I am not sure it ‘did’ education. But much later in life I came across a beautiful piece of choral music called ‘Non Nobis, Domine’. I had to look up what those words meant, and I discovered it was the first line of Psalm 115, a psalm that had helped to shape my ministry right from the very beginning. It reads, “Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but unto your name be the glory because of your love and faithfulness.”

I cannot think of a better vision statement than this, written so many hundreds of years ago. It cuts through the very human longing to be the centre of attention, or to be the one others look up to. It challenges so many of the leadership models of our day and brings us back to our knees as we acknowledge that life, as well as ministry, are all about him. So, thank you Lord Jesus for the incredible privilege. And, “Non Nobis, Domine. Amen.”

This article first appeared in Direction Magazine. For further details, please click here.