Tears – a gift from a weeping God

While writing a letter recently to a dear friend whose life has fallen apart and who finds himself in a prison cell, far from his family, fellowship and friends, I could no longer see the page. This onrush of tears surprised me, but it shouldn’t have done. It happens a lot these days.

Since passing through a decades-long trauma and some of the worst pain known to humanity, over 100 hospitalisations with radical surgeries, I have rediscovered my tear ducts.

I say this reluctantly because men think they are not supposed to cry. And I know why. From early on in life, boys are told that real men don’t cry. The problem is that when they are older, they may stuff their feelings deep inside and withdraw emotionally from their loved ones, or self-medicate with alcohol or drugs, or even become suicidal.

Many men therefore need to learn the skills of reconnecting with their emotions. And not just men and boys either. If these salty facial droplets are seen as a sign of weakness or defeat, how come God pays them so much attention in the Bible?

When Jewish people sit down to engage with their annual Passover feast it reminds them of the tears their ancestors shed during their 430 years of captivity in Egypt. They take a little salt water and dip herbs in it, drinking the sour brew as a sharp memorial to a troubled period in their history. Yet, those tears were a big part of their eventual freedom.

When God called Moses to become their deliverer, he had been moved by their crying due to their sufferings as slaves and wanted to set them free. Tears became a down-payment on liberty. Tiny drops of salty water secreted from their facial glands changed their lives. History was transformed by a few hot droplets squeezed from suffering faces by oppression and desperation.

The Bible says that God records all our tears (Psalm 56:8) which means that He knows our distress. The mighty King David wasn’t ashamed to soak his pillow with his tears at night (Psalm 6:6), both Isaiah and Jeremiah wept freely due to the sinful conditions of their day, and the great apostle Paul often preached through his tears (Acts 20:31).

But the greatest justification for us to weep when we need to do so is the shortest verse in the Bible – “Jesus wept,” (John 11:35). If the Son of God made use of His tear ducts so freely, then why are ours still sealed in their newly minted ‘I don’t cry’ wrappers?

Since passing through those tough years of pain I find myself deeply moved by other people’s suffering. My tears flow when I read certain biographies or see hard scenes from Ukraine, Sudan or Gaza on TV. Occasionally, they come unbidden, especially at night, waking me to a soaked pillow.

In my case, this is part of dealing with post traumatic shock disorder (PTSD), but there is no need to fear or be ashamed of such tears. God made our tear ducts to enable us to wash out our emotions and distress, and alert others at times to our vulnerability. This is not weakness but part of our created humanity – a gift from a weeping God.

So, if you are holding back tears, perhaps even now, know that there is one who cares. He wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus, and then went on to raise him up. Grief is certainly a process that touches our tear ducts as much as every other part of us and must be allowed to do so. What matters is not that your face is wet, but that your heart is open to God. When we weep our physical vision is blurred but our spiritual perception can be heightened. And a day is coming when God will wipe away every tear from our eyes (Revelation 7:17).

This article first appeared in Direction Magazine. For further details, please click here.