Finding light in the darkness of domestic abuse

“Stripped of everything, I finally heard God,” says domestic abuse survivor Jennifer Hebert. Since then she has found faith, freedom and a calling

It had looked like Jennifer Hebert had it all: three kids, loving husband, well-paid job, beautiful house, big car.

So how did she become homeless; a single mum facing financial ruin and a possible prison sentence? Because behind closed doors lay a dark reality: she had endured domestic abuse for decades.

“I’d been in a very controlling relationship, living in silence, fear and pain,” Jennifer says. “Like many women I believed love meant endurance and that staying quiet would keep me safe.”

The situation came to a head during her third pregnancy. “The abuse had got more severe each time I was pregnant and when it happened again I found the courage to ring for help.

“Also, I was in a well-paid sales role, and my husband became so jealous and threatened by that that he made a false allegation against me to my boss. I was sacked while still on maternity leave.”

Jennifer fled to a refuge, now a homeless unemployed single mum caring for nine- and six-year-old boys and a baby.

Then a brutal court case brought by her husband piled on further strain.

“Partners often take the mother to family court when she leaves because they can no longer continue their abuse at home,” Jennifer explains.

“I’d lived through 30 years of domestic violence in this and other relationships and now I was threatened with losing my children and going to prison.”

Thankfully, the case collapsed, but Jennifer was at her lowest ebb.

Coming to this point, however, enabled her to hear from God and receive a life-changing vision.

“I’d been absolutely stripped of everything I’d ever known, but that’s where God could work with me.

“I started to surrender and heard Him say, ‘You’re not in a refuge, you’re in the university of adversity, and what was meant for evil I will bring for my glory.’”

Birthing the Lampstand Group

Jennifer spent two years healing at the refuge, during which time God showed her how He would turn her pain into purpose: she would help other women trapped in silence out of their darkness.

Outside the Houses of Parliament, where she was invited to speak about domestic abuse, she was unexpectedly and transformatively filled with the Spirit, who “delivered me from effing and jeffing all the time too”.

Then later, having relocated from Cheshire to Hull to begin a new life, she met and married Gary, a musician from New Orleans.

“God told us, ‘I’ve put you together to show my love to people in need who have experienced domestic abuse’,” Jennifer says.

So the couple founded the Lampstand Group in 2024: a Christian charity in Hull and East Yorkshire dedicated to supporting survivors.

Prioritising homelessness

Since launching, one of Lampstand’s main goals has been to relieve homelessness by providing safe, quality housing.

“One of the biggest problems is there’s nowhere for these ladies to go. Many lack family ties and nearly 17,000 a year return to their abuser because of this,” says Jennifer.

“There are more animal shelters in the UK than women’s refuges, and only one for disabled women.”

God used her own refuge experience to teach her what Lampstand should provide.

“My accommodation was really shabby and that’s typical.

“Women are often sent to run-down council houses which they share with others in unsavoury situations. It can be really harrowing.

“God showed me that people who have escaped abuse deserve beautiful accommodation where healing can begin so they don’t feel tempted to return to a dangerous place.”

Compassionate care

Lampstand also offers practical support and recovery services, prioritising caring with compassion. Its staff all have lived experience of domestic abuse and have completed Independent Domestic Violence Advisor training.

Again, it’s something Jennifer learned the importance of through her own experience.

“One time when I was living in the refuge I was late home from a legal appointment because of traffic. The staff flew at me, and it was like abuse on top of abuse. God showed me that sometimes we just need to be available for hugs and love and to show we care.”

Lampstand also promotes mental health and wellbeing, with one of its most popular activities being its weekly Grace & Glitter art therapy group.

“We’ve got every art or craft you can imagine there, although people can just come and talk if they want to. Friendships are being built and local organisations come too: helping the ladies decorate stones, make Christmas wreaths or arrange flowers.”

Future vision

Lampstand currently supports 24 women, including disabled ladies, but Jennifer and Gary have long-term plans to expand.

First is a minibus to provide transport for legal and counselling appointments and to treat the women to day trips.

“When we asked them what they wanted the charity to look like they said, ‘We’d just love a day out feeding alpacas with our kids or going to the beach’.

“We’ve already got the vision of Gary driving, playing worship music in the background and taking the women and kids out with our therapy dog.”

Second is securing land to build apartments to provide safe, secure and decent housing.

Twinned with this is a third vision: to build a church alongside the apartments that will run parallel to Lampstand. It will provide spiritual support and daily connection through community activities. To this end, Jennifer and Gary are both working towards their Ministry Foundation Certificates with Elim, supported by Brian and Vanessa Richardson, with a view to ministry training too.

“We want a charity that provides beautiful accommodation and community connection where women can be restored and built up on the Word of God,” she says.

“The women we work with are God’s children. They’re fearfully and wonderfully made and they’ve been so hated and persecuted. It’s such a blessing to serve them and give them the hope they deserve.”

This article first appeared in Direction Magazine. For further details, please click here.